Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
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Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

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For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

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Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

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When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery

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Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Marketing is no longer about the stuff that you make, but about the stories you tell. - Seth Godin

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

Put your energy into making things that are likeable, not some douchey social media strategy. - Matthew Inman

No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan

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The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

Censorship is never over for those who have experienced it. It is a brand on the imagination that affects the individual who has suffered it, forever. - Noam Chomsky


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24-Nov-2020