[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last
three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]
MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”
TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him
after 7PM.”
WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”
THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”
Clarity trumps persuasion. - Flint McGlaughlin
Your culture is your brand. - Tony Hsieh
Marketing: Lying in loafers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It costs a lot to build bad products. - Norman Augustine
Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson
By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger
Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde
Social media allows big companies to act small again. - Jay Baer
I intend to build this brand again... Elite is legendary. - Donald Trump
For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin
A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker
Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell
No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley
Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath
Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker
Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson
When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls
Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery
Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain
Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus
Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen
There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina
Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears
When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek
It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson
Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov
Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown
Branded content is created for a company. A content brand is created for a valuable company. - Drew Davis
The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella
The stronger the dialog, the stronger the brand; the weaker the dialog, the weaker the brand. - Larry Webber
Put your energy into making things that are likeable, not some douchey social media strategy. - Matthew Inman
Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown
The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd
Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi
Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch
It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light
The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks
In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan
The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker
With traditional marketing, you tell people you are a rock star. With content marketing, you show them you're a rock star. - Robert Rose
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
History will see advertising as one of the real evil things of our time. It is stimulating people constantly to want things, want this, want that. - Malcolm Muggeridge
If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki
Censorship is never over for those who have experienced it. It is a brand on the imagination that affects the individual who has suffered it, forever. - Noam Chomsky
Your culture is your brand. - Tony Hsieh
Marketing: Lying in loafers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It costs a lot to build bad products. - Norman Augustine
Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson
By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger
Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella
Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde
Social media allows big companies to act small again. - Jay Baer
I intend to build this brand again... Elite is legendary. - Donald Trump
For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin
A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker
Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell
No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley
Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath
Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker
Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson
When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls
Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery
Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain
Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus
Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen
There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina
Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears
When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek
It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson
Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov
Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown
Branded content is created for a company. A content brand is created for a valuable company. - Drew Davis
The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella
The stronger the dialog, the stronger the brand; the weaker the dialog, the weaker the brand. - Larry Webber
Put your energy into making things that are likeable, not some douchey social media strategy. - Matthew Inman
Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown
The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd
Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi
Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch
It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light
The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks
In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan
The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker
With traditional marketing, you tell people you are a rock star. With content marketing, you show them you're a rock star. - Robert Rose
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
History will see advertising as one of the real evil things of our time. It is stimulating people constantly to want things, want this, want that. - Malcolm Muggeridge
If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki
Censorship is never over for those who have experienced it. It is a brand on the imagination that affects the individual who has suffered it, forever. - Noam Chomsky
see also Daffynitions, Language & Quote Sections
Church Bulletin Bloopers
Engrish
Flubbed Headlines
Headline Stories
Newspaper Bloopers
Resumé Bloopers
Crap Sale
Demo House For Sale
Digital Camera For Sale - Only Used Once
Donut Sale
“End Of World” Car Sale
Far Wood Sale
For Sale, Due To Market Changes
For Sale - One Useless Cat
GM’s Scratch and Dent Sale
Groj Sale
Groj Sale In The Country
Guard Dog For Sale
Half House For Sale
Hay For Sale
iPad For Sale
Lamp Post For Sale
Leaf Blower for Sale
Motorcycle For Sale
New Batch For Sale
Peanut Sale
Pen Sale Not
Pickup For Sale - Come Get It Quick!
Pony For Sale
Puppies For Sale
Redneck Estate Sale
Saskatchewan Snowmobile For Sale
Steak Sale
Swimming Pool For Sale - House Not Included
Used Cows For Sale
Wedding Dress For Sale
 Bird Melons |  Bag Hang-Up |  LippoPotumus |  Haircut For Staff Meetings |  Wolf Mode |
 Undertaker Bike |  Throwaway Sport Paper |  Pacman Skeleton |  Vatican City's New Breakfast Special |  Flying Cathedral Excuse |
 Day At The Beach |  John The Baptist Souvenirs |  Amish Prom Limo |  Wishy-Washy Church |  'Cover Girl' Magazine |
 One At A Time |  Shofar So Good |  Temple Car |  Closing Time |  Wine Glass Lanyard |
27-Jun-2022 |