Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Your culture is your brand. - Tony Hsieh

Marketing: Lying in loafers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I try to figure out the marketing puzzle. - Nelson Peltz

Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've got the hottest brand in the world. - Donald Trump

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer

By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Content is the atomic particle of all digital marketing. - Rebecca Lieb

I intend to build this brand again... Elite is legendary. - Donald Trump

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising. - Milton Hershey

No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen

There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

Marketing is no longer about the stuff that you make, but about the stories you tell. - Seth Godin

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

The stronger the dialog, the stronger the brand; the weaker the dialog, the weaker the brand. - Larry Webber

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki


see also   Daffynitions,  Language  &  Quote  Sections
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18-Jun-2021