Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

It is a secret worth knowing, that lawyers rarely go to law. - Moses Crowell

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one. - Voltaire

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


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22-Oct-2021