Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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22-Jan-2020