A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
catch.”
“What catch?”
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
see also Genie & Lawyer Sections
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08-Apr-2020 |