A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
catch.”
“What catch?”
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly
The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor
Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen
Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly
The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor
Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen
Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
see also Genie & Lawyer Sections
40th Wedding Anniversary
Blonde Men
Bottomless Mug
Cinderella Joe-kette
Cowboy’s Gift From Revenue Canada
Emu Order
Fertile Land
Ostrich Genie
 Vintage Birth Control |  Close Shave |  Australian RV |  Panorama Dog |  Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation |
 Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer |  Reflection |  Plane Tennis |  New IRS Form |  Wisconsin Cheese |
 MAGA King |  Baby Formula |  When Gas Costs Too Much |  Shoemobile |  Salmon Street |
 Pandemic Treaty |  People Of The River |  SUV Sinkhole |  Hope |  Blonde's 710 Cover |
21-May-2022 |