Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

It is a secret worth knowing, that lawyers rarely go to law. - Moses Crowell

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


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24-Feb-2021