Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


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21-May-2022