Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

To her, the name of father was another name for love. - Fanny Fern

A father is the one friend upon whom we can always rely. - Emile Gaboriau

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

To a father growing old, nothing is dearer than a daughter. - Euripides

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice. - Charles Kettering

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

One day you look in the mirror and realize the face you are shaving is your father's. - Robert Harris

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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26-Nov-2020