Dinnae Kin, Jock
Happy Rabbie Burns Day!
Up in the Scottish highlands, Jock has had a bit too much of the bevy at the local pub. Stumbling home after the pub closes, Jock sees a nice patch of soft heather under a huge oak tree and decides to sleep it off and go home the next morning.
Two young Scottish lassies are walking to school early the next morning and happen upon a sleeping Jock. Unfortunately for Jock it’s been a windy night and his kilt has been blown up around his ears. The two lassies start giggling at what they see.
“Do ye ken who that is Margaret?”
“Och aye, ’tis jolly Jock.”
“Shouldn’t we pull his kilt down?”
With that Betty takes a blue ribbon out of her hair, ties it in a nice bow around Jock’s anatomy and pulls down his kilt... off to school the girls go giggling all the way.
An hour or so later, Jock wakes up and has to go behind the tree. He pulls his kilt up and finds the blue ribbon tied to his anatomy. He says in amazement, “Hoot
man, I dinnae ken where ye been, but ye sure won first prize!”
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers
If I wear too much tartan I tend to look like a Thermos flask. - Ronnie Corbett
The history of Scotland is one of theology tempered by homicide. - Ivor Brown
Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion. - Ronnie Corbett
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