Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

Downplaying depression in a yoga relationship


1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn’t repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
49. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough chlorine!)
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.


QuotaBills
Life is laughter. - Theodore Melfi

You live your life as if it's real. - Leonard Cohen

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. - John Gardner

Life involves passions, faiths, doubts, and courage. - Josiah Royce

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life. - George MacDonald

Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough. - Emily Dickinson

I realized my mission in life was to learn more, not earn more. - Surya Das

There are three constants in life: change, choice and principles. - Stephen Covey

We see only a fragment of life at a time, but God sees the whole. - David Jeremiah

Virture offers the only path in this life that leads to tranquility. - Juvenal

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone. - Robin Williams

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. - William James

Beware of what you wish for in youth, because you will get it in middle life. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay. - Simone de Beauvoir

We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. - Buddha

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

It's a culmination of your life of surfing when you turn and paddle in at Mavericks. - Jeff Clark

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

Many an attack of depression is nothing but the expression of regret at having to be virtuous. - Wilhelm Stekel

There comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your heart. - Sarah Dessen

A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets, no lies. - Unknown

Never let life's hardships disturb you... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. - Nichiren Daishonen

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life. - Josh McDowell

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. - Rachel Carson

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. - Stephen V Benet

There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers, by living productively. - Erich Fromm

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nobody like to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game. - Ben Bernanke

Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds. - Zig Ziglar


see also   Quotes  Section
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
Bacon Is Life
Balanced Family Life
Better Start In Life
Extension of Life
Leading a Remote Life
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Life Extension
Life Sucks
Life’s Reflections
Monastery Life
My Life Goal
My Life in Segments
One Of Life’s Equations
Secret For A Long, Happy Life
Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The Wheels of Life
Throw Your Life Away
When Life Gets You Down

 

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16-Jan-2021