1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn’t repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach
49. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Surfing is for life. - Bruce Jenkins
Life itself is the proper binge. - Julia Child
Growth is the only evidence of life. - John Henry Newman
While we are postponing, life speeds by. - Seneca
Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning
Life has no limitations, except the ones you make. - Les Brown
The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Racing is life. Everything else is just... waiting. - Steve McQueen
Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. - Omar Khayyam
Life involves passions, faiths, doubts, and courage. - Josiah Royce
Night is the other half of life, and the better half. - Johann Wolfgange Von Goether
Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. Think well. - Danielle Pierre
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran
Our life is frittered away by detail ... Simplify, simplify. - Henry David Thoreau
Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop. - Unknown
Sometimes true courage in life is just being a decent human being. - Unknown
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner
Age is not different from earlier life as long as you're sitting down. - Malcolm Cowley
Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness; those are life-altering lessons. - Jessica Lange
Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. - Robert Frost
Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay. - Simone de Beauvoir
To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions. - William James
Blessed is he who has found his life's work; let him ask no other blessedness. - Thomas Carlyle
A nation which makes the final sacrifice for life and freedom does not get beaten. - Kemal Ataturk
The key to life is just being a happy person, and happiness will bring you success. - Diego Val
Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende
I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering
I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker
A pedestrian is a man in danger of his life. A walker is a man in possession of his soul. - David McCord
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, serenely, divinely aware. - Henry Miller
Never let life's hardships disturb you... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. - Nichiren Daishonen
I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative. - Michael Losier
I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump
Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields
Worship is a posture of life that takes as its primary purpose the understanding of what it really means to love and revere God. - Ravi Zacharias
The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up. - John C Maxwell
You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action. - Anthony Robbins
He had a sense of irony that ruled his life, made it impossible for him to use his considerable brains in any kind of serious job. Kind of like me. - Neal Stephenson
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
Bacon Is Life
Balanced Family Life
Better Start In Life
Extension of Life
Leading a Remote Life
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Life Cycle of a Chicken
My Life Goal
My Life in Segments
One Of Life’s Equations
Secret For A Long, Happy Life
Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The Wheels of Life
Throw Your Life Away
When Life Gets You Down
Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs
NAACP Cover Up
How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?
Pike Mouth Nest
Improvise, Adapt, Overcome
Never Go Full Retard