New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera


see also   Chemistry,  Engineer  &  Relationship  Sections
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Important Health Information
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04-Aug-2020