Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman – already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet - who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault
An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. - Friedrich Nietzsche
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault
see also Hospital Section
You Can’t Fix Stupid
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26-May-2020 |