Hospital Outpatient Assistance - Like It Or Not

Wheelchair regulations


Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet - who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”




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Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. - George Carlin

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault


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25-Feb-2021