Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart see also Bad Gas Section Acceptable Doctors Sign Car-nage Car Surgeon Colon Celery Colonoscopy Comments Colorectal Exam For Dogs Colorectal Surgeon Praise Constipated Mathematician Doctor’s Flat Examination Dog Proctologist Exhausting Gyne Work Fart Facts First Proctologist Exam (PG) German Flatulence Control Japanese Diving Platform Menopause Sucks Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice Singing Gynecologist |
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