Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
Do it big or stay in bed. - Larry Kelly

Dream big and dare to fail. - Norman Vaughan

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

To die will be an awfully big adventure. - James M Barrie

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough. - Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field. - Carol Vorderman

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Go big or go home. Because it's true. What do you have to lose? - Eliza Dushku

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away. - Indira Gandhi

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it. - Adolf Hitler

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

If I had an ego as big as the Eiffel Tower, would I have won this many collective trophies? - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. - Josh Billings

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

For me, part of one my big movements is building authentic street environments for skateboarding. - Rob Dyrdek

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones. - Jean Webster

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. - Charles Caleb Colton

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

When you win the World Series, like we did with The Apprentice, you don't make too many changes. The big change is always the cast. - Donald Trump

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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02-Jun-2020