Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
No bed is big enough to hold three. - German Proverb

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I am big! It's the pictures that got small. - Sunset Boulevard

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far. - Theodore Roosevelt

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. - Jonathan Kozol

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Don't be afraid to pray big prayers, we serve a big God. - Unknown

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive. - Ellen DeGeneres

Pantomime is a big thing in the cultural calendar of my country. - Alan Cumming

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

I also do my own processing, so it means a big commitment in lab time. - Leonard Nimoy

The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark. - John Muir

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

If what you did yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today. - Elbert Hubbard

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it. - Adolf Hitler

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Make big pots of soups, stews and chilis, they stretch a buck, and you can live off them for days. - Rachael Ray

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. - Frank A. Clark

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones. - Jean Webster

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? - Jacques Plante

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

In my experience of large enterprises, I have found it is often a mistake to try to settle everything at once. - Winston Churchill

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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15-Apr-2021