Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
A big book is a big bore. - Callimachus

Big mouthfuls often choke. - Italian Proverb

Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

Never be too big to look up to someone. - Unknown

To die will be an awfully big adventure. - James M Barrie

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away. - Fulton J Sheen

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - Winston Churchill

It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge. - Unknown

Big changes in our lives are more or less a second chance. - Harrison Ford

If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough. - Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field. - Carol Vorderman

Pantomime is a big thing in the cultural calendar of my country. - Alan Cumming

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

I didn't have any ambition to produce big mainstream popcorn movies. - Jodie Foster

It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. - John Wooden

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

There's a big overlap with the people you meet at the fantasy and science fiction cons. - Fred Saberhagen

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business. - Donald Trump

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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28-Jan-2020