A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, was riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor managed to corner him and told him to pay up: “You’ve been on for five miles - that’ll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase.”
The Scotsman responded, “I ha’not! I want a, ha’penny fare, I just got on this vera moment.”
They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London Bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, “Not only are ya trin’ to overcharge me for the ticket - but now you’ve gone a’drowned ma wee boy, Jimmy!”
Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown
Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis
He who asks questions cannot avoid the answers. - Cameroon Proverb
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown
You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. - French Proverb
The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. - Joseph J. Thomas
The history of Scotland is one of theology tempered by homicide. - Ivor Brown
A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine
A man must learn to endure patiently what he cannot avoid conveniently. - Michel de Montaigne
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen. - WC Fields
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles
The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan
The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth
People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. - Carl Jung
The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump
There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Aristotle
A collection of rare thoughts is nothing less than a cabinet of intellectual gems. - William B. Sprague
If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon-shots. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions? - Pawan Mishra
I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti
The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey
Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye
I mistrust all systematizers and avoid them. The will to a system is a lack of integrity. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Some people use one half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid paying it. - George D Prentice
The problem in this world is to avoid concentration of power - we must have a dispersion of power. - Milton Friedman
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault
I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane
By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
To avoid an occasion for our virtues is a worse degree of failure than to push forward pluckily and make a fall. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower
It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla
Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis
He who asks questions cannot avoid the answers. - Cameroon Proverb
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown
You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. - French Proverb
The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. - Joseph J. Thomas
The history of Scotland is one of theology tempered by homicide. - Ivor Brown
A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine
A man must learn to endure patiently what he cannot avoid conveniently. - Michel de Montaigne
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen. - WC Fields
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles
The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes
The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan
The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth
People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. - Carl Jung
The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump
There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Aristotle
A collection of rare thoughts is nothing less than a cabinet of intellectual gems. - William B. Sprague
If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede cannon-shots. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions? - Pawan Mishra
I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti
The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey
Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye
I mistrust all systematizers and avoid them. The will to a system is a lack of integrity. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Some people use one half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid paying it. - George D Prentice
The problem in this world is to avoid concentration of power - we must have a dispersion of power. - Milton Friedman
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault
I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane
By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
To avoid an occasion for our virtues is a worse degree of failure than to push forward pluckily and make a fall. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower
It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla
see also Nationality & Train Sections
Suitcase Inspection
Welcome To Scotland
 Water Waste Basket |  My Daughter and My Money |  Executive Decision Time |  Animal Rings |  Cow Return |
 Biggest Fan On The Block |  Senior's TV Tray |  Potty 'Train'ing In India |  A Woman Named Five Horses |  Vegan Dentist |
 How To Conserve Gas |  Rolling Shoes |  How Twins Are Made |  Cool Reading Room |  Poor Lifetime |
 Be GarFul |  Tooth Ferry |  Ready For Rabbits |  Ecosystem |  Plumber's Night Light |
06-Jun-2020 |