Punjabi Airways

Where safety standards are very high


Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjabi Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!

Punjabi Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I take great pleasure in announcing that starting this year, over 50 per cent of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don’t quite make it, Punjabi Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the kith and kin. Our stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!

For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

Smoking is not allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunts and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. However, if we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.

Sorry, but I won’t be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew’s wedding. Thank you for choosing Punjabi Airways. Have a nice journey!


QuotaBills
Don't just fly, soar. - Walt Disney

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Flying Buttress: A charging billy goat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lure of flying is the lure of beauty. - Amelia Earhart

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss

The press is like the air, a chartered libertine. - William Pitt The Elder

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

There are bold pilots, and old pilots, but no old bold pilots. - Tom Clancy

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

She would stay there, flying across the sea like a mermaid with wings, until the end. - Natalia Marx

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

If you decide to stop flying, it is wise to hang on to your wings, for you may need them one day, when one of your other qualities turns dangerous. - Am Leach

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


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17-May-2022