Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjabi Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Punjabi Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I take great pleasure in announcing that starting this year, over 50 per cent of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don’t quite make it, Punjabi Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the kith and kin. Our stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
Smoking is not allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunts and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. However, if we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.
Sorry, but I won’t be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew’s wedding. Thank you for choosing Punjabi Airways. Have a nice journey!
The voice is nothing but beaten air. - Seneca
Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt
To elude by flight is a glorious victory. - Horace
Never eat spinach just before going on the air. - Dan Rather
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin
If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing. - J M Barrie
Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly. - Unknown
Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo
Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown
He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry
Only the two of us together flying high upon the wings of love. - Jeffrey Osborne
Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus
The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello
The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin
To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias
For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown
We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown
Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout
I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters
Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb
With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan
One of the things that I have admired about India is the spiritualism of the people. - Stephen Covey
You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown
We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown
Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell
I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford
There is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. - Edward Elgar
Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash
The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield
It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin
Sloth is the failure to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done - like the kamikaze pilot who flew seventeen missions. - John Ortberg
Living as we do in an age of noise and bluster, success is now measured accordingly. We must all be seen, and heard, and on the air. - Daphne du Maurier
If you decide to stop flying, it is wise to hang on to your wings, for you may need them one day, when one of your other qualities turns dangerous. - Am Leach
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