A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear
to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head
and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he
writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note,
which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with
your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to
emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of
complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your rear end and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler
Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown
I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson
Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta
Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown
Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield
Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft
I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee
Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb
True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar
I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters
We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney
Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis
I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega
I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood
Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King
Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende
Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender
I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field
I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau
Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel
Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes
When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown
We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn
The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas
Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla
As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson
The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman
If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland
It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt
Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek
Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown
All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside
I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift
see also Clothing & Halloween Sections
Animal Halloween Costumes
Avoiding Stress In The Workplace
Bat Flying Blind
Bloodsucker Bank
Boo Who? Surprise, Surprise!
Coffin Attack
Cruise Nurse
Halloween Birth
Howloween
Pumpkin Art
Pumpkin Buns
Pumpkin Candy
 Donut Hole History |  Church Flight |  Jews: The Revenge |  Israel Security |  Breakfast In Bed |
 Antler Field |  Redneck Stove Burner |  Texas Earrings |  A Man's Life |  Dog Walker |
 New Zealand Prepares For War |  Window Washing Daredevil |  Aussie Ford Coupe |  Pushing The Envelope |  Window Fall Repair |
26-Sep-2021 |