A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear
to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head
and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he
writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note,
which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with
your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to
emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of
complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your rear end and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino
Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta
My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque
Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie
Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold
Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown
The muses are ghosts, and sometimes they come uninvited. - Stephen King
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer
There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown
The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown
I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield
Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft
A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees
I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee
Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond
I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen
We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney
When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown
My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury
The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery
I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega
I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood
Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King
Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey
I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field
Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch
Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes
The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas
As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson
The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran
If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland
I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa
Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek
Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown
Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee
The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind
All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside
see also Clothing & Halloween Sections
Animal Halloween Costumes
Avoiding Stress In The Workplace
Bat Flying Blind
Bloodsucker Bank
Boo Who? Surprise, Surprise!
Coffin Attack
Cruise Nurse
Halloween Birth
Howloween
Pumpkin Art
Pumpkin Buns
Pumpkin Candy
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14-Dec-2019 |