Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
Dear Jesus, do something. - Vladimir Nabokov

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

My brain has too many tabs open. - Unknown

A human life is a story told by God. - Hans Christian Andersen

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You go to heaven. God sneezes. What do you say? - Peter Houppermans

Ask God for what man can give, and you may get it. - European Proverb

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955. - Gene Perret

Faith makes all things possible; love makes all things easy. - Jeffrey R Holland

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds. - Alfred Tennyson

Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves. - Joni Eareckson Tada

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust. - Walter Raleigh

Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple

In the affairs of this world, men are saved not by faith, but by the want of it. - Benjamin Franklin

You can always borrow a corkscrew from a member of the Protestant Episcopal Church. - Chauncey Depew

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. - Vincent McNabb

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. - C S Lewis

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men. - Norman MacDonald

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer. - Saadi

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

I don't think that we're meant to understand it all the time. I think that sometimes we just have to have faith. - Nicholas Sparks

If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. - C S Lewis

Worship is a posture of life that takes as its primary purpose the understanding of what it really means to love and revere God. - Ravi Zacharias

A calling is simply God's shaping of your burden and beckoning you to your service to him in the place and pursuit of his choosing. - Ravi Zacharias

Prayer and the Bible became a part of my everyday thoughts and beliefs. I learned to put my trust in God and to seek Him as my strength. - Rosa Parks

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Discipleship does not come from positions of prominence, wealth, or advanced learning. The disciples of Jesus came from all walks of life. - James E Faust

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
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Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
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Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
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Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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06-Jun-2020