Atheist Professor

A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”

QuotaBills
A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

God will forgive me. That's his business. - Heinrich Heine

Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work. - Charles Kingsley

Conceited people never hear anything but praise. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955. - Gene Perret

It is more difficult to praise rightly than to blame. - Thomas Fuller

God does nothing but by prayer, and everything with it. - John Wesley

I want to know God's thoughts. The rest are details. - Albert Einstein

Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. - Soren Kierkegaard

And if I please you so, my lover, remember praise is comely. - Countee Cullen

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into. - Mohandas Gandhi

Today's church wants to be raptured from responsibility. - Leonard Ravenhill

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. - Ovid

Faith must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies. - Mahatma Gandhi

Fools may our scorn, not envy raise,
For envy is a kind of praise. - John Gay

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. - Phillip Pullman

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. - Saint Augustine

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. - Bob Hope

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. - Corrie ten Boom

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. - Dr. Seuss

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles H Spurgeon

Five main components of worship: the Lord's Supper, teaching, prayer, praise, and giving. - Ravi Zacharias

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

Praise is but virtue's shadow; who courts her,
Doth more the handmaid than the dame admire - Robert Heath

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. - Soren Kierkegaard

I blinked and I cured my brain. That's how. Everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. - Charlie Sheen

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

He that takes truth for his guide, and duty for his end, may safely trust to God's providence to lead him aright. - Blaise Pascal

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

I you can make any leading religion of the world look like complete nonsense, you can be sure of only one thing: you haven't understood it. - Wilfred Cantwell Smith

see also Religious Section
Brain Logic

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Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

Atheist Professor

Religious brain child

26-Sep-2021