Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
God bless us every one! - Tiny Tim

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

A human life is a story told by God. - Hans Christian Andersen

I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist. - Albert Camus

God cannot alter the past, though historians can. - Samuel Butler

My poems are hymns of praise to the glory of life. - Edith Sitwell

The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns

What is faith unless it is to believe what you do not see? - St. Augustine

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith. - Paul Tillich

When we make God's priorities our priorities, God blesses us. - David Jeremiah

Praise follows truth afar off, and only overtakes her at the grave. - James R Lowell

I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God. - Albert Camus

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

God made you a masterpiece. Be blessed, secure, disciplined and equipped. - Joel Osteen

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

Never, never, never join a movement that persecutes people because of their faith. - Adrian Rodgers

Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done. - C S Lewis

We failed, but in the good providence of God, apparent failure often proves a blessing. - Robert E Lee

The brain is only one condition out of many on which intellectual manifestations depend. - Thomas Henry Huxley

The essential feature, and necessity of life is to know reality, which means knowing God. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God! - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be. - Alan Watts

I know no manner of speaking so offensive as that of giving praise, and closing it with an exception. - Richard Steele

The majesty of faith is that it teaches us to see what exists, not merely what catches our attention. - Jonathan Sacks

He who has learned to look to God in everything he does is at the same time diverted from all vain thoughts. - John Calvin

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked if I might help Him. I ended up by asking Him to do his work through me. - J Hudson Taylor

God is great not just because nothing is too big for Him. God is great because nothing is too small for Him, either. - Mark Batterson

When God decides who should live or die, he is immoral. When you decide who should live or die, it's your moral right. - Ravi Zacharias

A group becomes a team when each member is sure enough of himself and his contribution to praise the skills of the others. - Norman G Shidle

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. - Francis of Assisi

It is easy - terribly easy - to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit, is devil's work. - George Bernard Shaw

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell


see also   Religious  Section
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All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
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Job Interview With God
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Please Help My Car
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Redneck Revenge
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Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
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Wash Away Sins
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17-May-2022