Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
How much money is enough? - Talmud

Bribery: Using money as a blindfold - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

Virtue has never as respectable as money. - Mark Twain

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Here's the money for our patentcy (patent). - Archie Bunker

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Money follows passion - not the other way around. - Unknown

Wind to a sailor is what money is to life on shore. - Sterling Hayden

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

I can't afford to die - I'd lose too much money. - George Burns

I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. - Judy Garland

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn't got money. - David Geffen

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that's poverty. - Joe E Lewis

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. - Virginia Woolf

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
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28-Jun-2022