Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. - Martin Scorsese

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. - Tony Hsieh

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

I can't afford to die - I'd lose too much money. - George Burns

When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby. - Jewish Proverb

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D Rockefeller

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

It's not about money. It's about the people you have, and how you're led. - Steve Jobs

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno

They say love is more important than money. Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? - Dave Chapelle

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!

 

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21-Oct-2020