And The Oscar Goes To...

Hollywood enacts its own La La Land

Best Picture Award provides fodder for Worst Performance Of The Year



Jordan Horowitz points out the real winner at the 2017 Oscars

Biggest mistake in Oscars history after La La Land wrongly named Best Picture winner.

“There’s a mistake. Moonlight, you won best picture,” Jordan Horowitz, La La Land producer, announced to the gasps of a shocked crowd. He held up the card clearly showing the winner was Clinton, not Moonlight.

Warren Beatty used to be the talk of the town because of the women he had on his arm, but now it’s because of the envelope he’s got tucked under it.

QuotaBills
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. - Steven Wright

There is no Nobel Prize for fact-checking. - John Oliver

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

There is no preparation for sudden celebrity. - Scarlett Johannson

The virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize. - Richard Monckton Milnes

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life. - Jean Paul Friedrich Richter

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness. - Allen Ginsberg

There is nothing laughable about a clown in the moonlight. - Lon Chaney

Awards are like piles. Sooner or later, every bum gets one. - Maureen Lipman

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

The only thing Cy Young didn't win was the Cy Young Award. - Joe Torre

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. - C S Lewis

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy. - Jack Nicholson

Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent. - Emily Dickinson

Prizes are like sashes, you can wear them and be Miss World for a bit. - Martin Amis

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. - Mark Twain

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Perhaps one has to be old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked. - Pearl S. Buck

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. - Theodore Roosevelt

You get an education when you read the small print. You get a shock when you don't. - Buck Tracy

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet. - Niels Bohr

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. - George Duhamel

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

I really wanted the MTV Award the most, It was a golden popcorn container and it looks really neat. - Kirsten Dunst

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

I have written a book. This will come as quite a shock to some. They didn't think I could read, much less write. - George W. Bush

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award. - Bill Murray

A kind of banalization of celebrity has occurred: we are now offered an instant, ready-to-mix fame as nutritious as packet soup. - J G Ballard

Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It's kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. - Bill Murray

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. - Oscar Wilde

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates! - Dave Barry

The high prize of life, the crowning fortune of a man, is to be born with a bias to some pursuit, which finds him in employment and happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


see also   Academy Awards  &  Practical  Sections
Oscar Photobomb
Sad Truth About The Oscars

 

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27-Oct-2020