Due to the popularity of the “Survivor” shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: “Survivor - Texas-Style!” The lucky contestants will all start in Keller, then to Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and Keller. Finally back to Dallas. ![]() Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with ten bumper stickers which read: 1. “I’m A Democrat” 2. “Amnesty For Illegals” 3. “Boycott Beef” 4. “George Strait Sucks” 5. “Re-elect Obama In 2016” 6. “Rosie O’Donnell Is Texas Born” 7. “I Love Obamacare and Chuck Schumer” 8. “It’s Bush’s Fault” 9. “Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion” 10. “I’m Here To Confiscate Your Guns” The first contestant to make it back to Dallas - ALIVE - wins. Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams see also Television & Travel Sections Survivor - Texas Style (2004 version) Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas “BIG” Texas Rattlesnake Everything Is Bigger In Texas My Daughter & My Money Negotiations Texas Style Only In Texas Redneck Porch Hunter Room Service in a Texas Hotel Shopping In Texas Texas Bakery Texas Bank Security Texas Car Wash Texas Chili Taster Texas Cow Cleaner Texas Divorce Texas Drought Texas Farmer Texas Flashlight Texas Hunting Vehicle Texas Limo Texas Motorcycle Seat Texas Outhouse Art Texas Rain Gauge Texas Rocking Chair Texas Speed Camera Texas Style Arrest Texas Three-Kick Rule Texas Wildcat Dentist Texas Wink Why We Live in Texas |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|