A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” - Anonymous
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.” - Anonymous
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t. - James Holt McGavra
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Red Skelton
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, “What does a woman want?” - Dumas
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. - Nash
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. - Sam Kinison
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. - Patrick Murra
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - David Bissonette
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous
see also
Marriage, Quotes & Relationship Sections
All Divorces Start With Marriage
Every Man’s Philosophy
Evolution and Philosophy
Philosofacts
Philosophy 101 - The Chair That Doesn’t Exist
 This Rocks |  Arch Support |  Tired Of Snow |  Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea |  World Peas |
 Tired Truck |  Harmacy |  Redneck Cotter Pin |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Guitar Scooter |
 1947 X-ray Machine |  Grouchy German |  Knock Hard |  Economy Flight Plan |  Canadian Car Crash |
 Recipe Holder |  Seuss Army Knife |  Dustpan Waterfall |  Pita Pan |  Drum Kit Chandelier |
18-Apr-2021 |