Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He’ll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don’t let your worries get the best of you - Moses started out as a basket case.
Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to Church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn’t call the qualified - He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
God loves everyone, but probably prefers “fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts.”
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you.
I don’t know why some people change Churches. What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats.
If the Church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
It’s easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
Many Church members who sing “Standing on the Promises” are just sitting on the premises.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
Peace starts with a smile.
People are funny - they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the Church.
Prayer: Don’t give God instructions - just report for duty.
Quit griping about your Church - if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.
Some minds are like concrete - thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
The best mathematical equation: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
We don’t change the message, the message changes us.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
When you get to your wit’s end, you’ll find God lives there.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
Redneck Hailstone Damage
Redneck Flu Shot
Japanese Diving Platform
Cat Swimming at the Olympics
Row Your Goat
My Kind Of Exercise
Surround Sound for Babies
Clean Senior Citizens
Taco Bell Secret Seasoning
What Goes Round Comes Round
Scary Ice Cream