Rod received a free ticket to Super Bowl XL from his company. Unfortunately, when Rod arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!
About halfway through the first quarter, Rod noticed that there was an empty seat 10 rows off the field - right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”
The man said, “No.”
Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Rod said to the man next to him, “This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?”
The man replied, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”
“That’s really sad,” said Rod. “But still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?”
“No,” the man replied, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth
Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg
Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory
I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood
Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin
It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman
All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson
Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck
Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann
So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell
In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow
Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi
College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller
You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa
Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal
I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting
Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller
May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times
As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson
Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox
Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard
Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy
Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth
Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg
Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory
I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood
Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin
It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman
All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson
Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck
Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann
So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell
In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow
Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi
College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller
You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa
Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal
I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting
Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller
May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times
As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson
Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox
Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard
Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy
see also Football Section
Football Chicks
Loving Canadian Husband
Superb Owl
Super Bowl Granny
Super Bowl Lunch
Super Bowl Tickets
Super Bowl XLVI Security
Super Bowl XL - For Big Jobs
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23-Sep-2021 |