Rod received a free ticket to Super Bowl XL from his company. Unfortunately, when Rod arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field! There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy see also Football Section Football Chicks Loving Canadian Husband Superb Owl Super Bowl Granny Super Bowl Lunch Super Bowl Tickets Super Bowl XLVI Security Super Bowl XL - For Big Jobs |
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