Hutterite Triathletes – Olympic Hasbeens
Budgies are key to a Hutterite Olympic training program

Two Hutterites walk into a pet shop in Lethbridge and head directly to the bird section. Peter, the Preacher says to John the Farm Boss, “Dat’s dem.” The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. “Yeah, ve’ll take four of dem der little budgies in dat cage over der,” says John. The owner puts them in a paper bag. Peter and John pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into the colony van and drive over to the trellis bridge.

From the top of the bridge, John looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, “Dis looks like a grand place.” He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the bridge. Peter watches as John falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Peter shakes his head and says, “Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me.”

Moments later, Ben the Hog Boss arrives up on the bridge. He’s been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

“Hey, Peter, vatch dis,” Ben says. He takes the parrot from the bag and throws himself off the bridge. Peter watches as halfway down, Ben takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Ben continues to plummet until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Peter shakes his head and say, “Ya, und I’m never trying dat parrotshooting either.”

Peter is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Abe, the Chicken Boss, appears, carrying a chicken. Abe then grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it over his head and hurls himself off the bridge and disappears down and down until he hits hard and breaks his spine.

Peter shakes his head in sadness. “First der was John wid his budgie jumping, den
Ben parrotshooting... und now ve’ve lost Abe from hengliding.”

see also   Hutterite  Section


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