Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

You live and learn, then die and forget it all. - Noel Coward

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Thoroughly to teach another is the best way to learn for yourself. - Tyron Edwards

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. - Robert J Sawyer

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Your mind is your instrument. Learn to be its master and not its slave. - Unknown

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. - Richard Branson

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Life is like playing violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

Learn to say "no" to the good so you can say "yes" to the best. - John C Maxwell

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence. - Colin Powell

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

People ask how I feel about getting old. I tell them I have the same question. I'm learning as I go. - Paul Simon

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all. - Erik Erikson


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

04-Jun-2020