Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
I never lose. I win or I learn. - Nelson Mandela

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I believe in this concept that you learn by teaching. - Stephen Covey

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper. - Unknown

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. - Winston Churchill

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and falling over. - Richard Branson

You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and be vibrantly alive in repose. - Mahatma Gandhi

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. - Jim Carrey

There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

The audience, upon learning that the real Buffalo Bill was present, gave several cheers between the acts. - Buffalo Bill

Want to learn to eat a lot? Here it is: Eat a little. That way, you will be around long enough to eat a lot. - Tony Robbins

A lot of problems would never be problems if we could learn to talk to each other instead of about each other. - Unknown

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

I love solving puzzles, I love finding my way around obstacles, and I love learning new things about technology. - Kevin Mitnick

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way. - C S Lewis

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions. It is time to acknowledge this, perhaps even to learn to do it better. - Lewis Thomas

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. - Henry Ford


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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18-Sep-2021