Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit. - Vince Lombardi

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

How do I learn to speak when silence is all I know? - Susie Clevenger

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

The minute you're not learning I believe you're dead. - Jack Nicholson

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

It's impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful. - Natalie Portman

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. - Unknown

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you. - Zig Ziglar

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's what I learn from the great actors that I work with. Stillness. That's all and that's the hardest thing. - Morgan Freeman

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is. - Donald Trump

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

An organization's ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage. - Jack Welch

To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine

First Impressions

On Its Last Legs

Fire Truck

Living In A Bubble

Underwater Smoking

Burger Sale

PLZSTOP

Fawn Of You

Baby's Off Day

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome
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07-Aug-2020