Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Lifelong learning is the great equalizer. - Unknown

Governments never learn. Only people learn. - Milton Friedman

Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal. - A. Maude Royden

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Play is our brain's favorite way of learning. - Diane Ackerman

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. - John Kabat-Zinn

The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. - Isaac Asimov

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. - Joseph J. Thomas

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

We're all learning here; the best listeners will end up the smartest. - Charlene Li

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. - Charles M. Schulz

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I keep on making what I can't do yet in order to learn to be able to do it. - Vincent van Gogh

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Bad times have a scientific value. We learn geology the morning after the earthquake. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. - Unknown

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. - Ann Richards

To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. - Chester Bernard

That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life but in a new way. - Doris Lessing

Most people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy trying to place the blame on someone else. - Unknown

If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis

I wanted to be scared again. I wanted to feel unsure again. That's the only way I learn, the only way I feel challenged. - Connie Chung

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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18-Jan-2020