Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Listen to learn. Learn to earn! - Rob Liano

Be quick to learn and wise to know. - George Burns

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Governments never learn. Only people learn. - Milton Friedman

Failure is not failure if you learn from it. - Unknown

Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness. - Buddha

We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg W F Hegel

Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. - Jim Rohn

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. - John Powell

Learn from the past, Hope for the future, Live in the present. - Ken Lancaster

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Continue to learn and challenge yourself. The hard work will pay off. - Unknown

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful. - Natalie Portman

We're never gonna learn about how safe the vaccine is until we start giving it. - FDA Panel Member

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

A lot of problems would never be problems if we could learn to talk to each other instead of about each other. - Unknown

Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell

I love solving puzzles, I love finding my way around obstacles, and I love learning new things about technology. - Kevin Mitnick

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


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“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
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03-Jul-2022