Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit. - Vince Lombardi

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness. - Buddha

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Life can be fun if you learn to enjoy the adventure. - Unknown

My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. - Chinese Proverb

Failure is just another way to learn how to do something right. - Marian Wright Edelman

Don't try to make me consistent. I am learning all the time. - R Buckminster Fuller

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. - Eleanor Roosevelt

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. - B.B. King

The only thing we learn from new elections is we learned nothing from the old. - American Proverb

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Bad times have a scientific value. We learn geology the morning after the earthquake. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

The hallmark of successful people is that they are always stretching themselves to learn new things. - Carol S Dweck

Failure is instructive. People who really think learn quite as much from their failures as from their successes. - John Dewey

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Learning does not consist only of knowing what we must or we can do, but also of knowing what we could do and perhaps should not do. - Umberto Eco

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Nobody like to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game. - Ben Bernanke

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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18-Jan-2022