Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Be quick to learn and wise to know. - George Burns

o be a good loser is to learn how to win. - Carl Sandburg

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Learning, undigested by thought, is labor lost. - Confucius

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

How do I learn to speak when silence is all I know? - Susie Clevenger

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other. - John F Kennedy

We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg W F Hegel

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. - Chinese Proverb

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

You could listen to Woody Guthrie songs and actually learn how to live. - Bob Dylan

Your mind is your instrument. Learn to be its master and not its slave. - Unknown

The road to learning by precept is long, but by example short and effective. - Seneca

We yearned for the future. How did we learn it, that talent for insatiability? - Margaret Atwood

Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over. - Nicole Sobon

Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon. - Alexander Pope

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. - Stephen Covey

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies. - Suze Orman

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is. - Donald Trump

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

Media Bondage

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Sports Hernias

Low Expectation Autographs

The Moist Wet Territories

Cat Doormat

Redneck Foosball

Shining Stars

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

My Toaster Is Broken

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

12-Apr-2021