Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learn what you are and be such. - Pindar

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

It is better to know how to learn than to know. - Dr. Seuss

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve. - Jane Austen

Failure is just another way to learn how to do something right. - Marian Wright Edelman

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. - Robert J Sawyer

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We're all learning here; the best listeners will end up the smartest. - Charlene Li

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

I have never met a man so ignorant I couldn't learn something from him. - Galileo

The road to learning by precept is long, but by example short and effective. - Seneca

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

If you don't learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

You can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all its own. - Chaim Potok

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

The audience, upon learning that the real Buffalo Bill was present, gave several cheers between the acts. - Buffalo Bill

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all. - Erik Erikson

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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20-Jan-2021