Gate Crasher - How NOT To Stop Your Car

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. - Bob Metcalfe

Trespassers prosecuted - please shut the gate. - Unknown

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. - Eleanor Roosevelt

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind. - Virginia Woolf

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright