A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,“ but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”
“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
“Mom,” she said, “when I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”
Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”
“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.
The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”
“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb
I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters
Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg
In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde
In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller
Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois
You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles
I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor
Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon
Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison
Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe
I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito
Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde
Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf
see also Clothing, Marriage & Newlywed Sections
Days Of The Week Socks
Great White Socks
Sock Anatomy
Spring Sock Clearance
Wine Socks
 Pentecost Sunday |  Pike Mouth Nest |  Improvise, Adapt, Overcome |  Flower Lips |  Bird Walker |
 Never Go Full Retard |  Multi-Pilot Jet |  Teethbrushes |  Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you! |  Picture Perfect |
 Same Mistake Twice |  How To Build A Fence |  Horse-Back Riding |  Social Distancing Fine |  Burnout Indication |
 Lost Luggage |  A Balanced Diet |  Bowen Arrow |  Business School Basics |  Broken Potted Plant Art |
30-May-2020 |