Newleywed Sock Swallower

Apprehension about smelly feet


A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,“ but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
“Mom,” she said, “when I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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08-Mar-2021