Newleywed Sock Swallower

Apprehension about smelly feet


A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,“ but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
“Mom,” she said, “when I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”


QuotaBills
Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

If I'm traveling, I'll pack socks in my bag - really cute furry ones. - Nicki Minaj

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


see also   Clothing,  Marriage  &  Newlywed  Sections
Days Of The Week Socks
Great White Socks
Sock Anatomy
Spring Sock Clearance
Wine Socks

 

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Jan-2021