Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, “Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!”
Pa replies, “There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse.”
Ma yells back, “Yes there is, now git out there and fix it.”
So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, “Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse!”
Ma replies, “Stick yur head in the hole!”
Pa yells back, “I ain’t stickin my head in that hole!”
Ma says, “Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix.”
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, “Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with this outhouse!”
Ma hollers back, “Now take your head out of the hole!”
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, “Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!”
To which Ma replies, “Hurts, don’t it?”
Vaccination: An ouch of prevention - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
What a beautiful fix we are in now; peace has been declared. - Napoleon Bonaparte
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown
The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! - P.J. O'Rourke
You can't fix things with a hug, but you can't make them any worse, either. - Dean Koontz
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking. - Stephen Covey
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V
You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
What a beautiful fix we are in now; peace has been declared. - Napoleon Bonaparte
That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown
Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart
High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown
The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! - P.J. O'Rourke
You can't fix things with a hug, but you can't make them any worse, either. - Dean Koontz
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking. - Stephen Covey
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair
Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
see also Bad Gas, Bathroom & Redneck Sections
Farmer’s Hole
Fix It Later Detour
 Worn Brakes |  Apprentice Auto Body Shop |  Moving Level Pro |  Redneck Muffler Repair |  Eggsellent Bike |
 Prairie Bear |  Clinton Greeting |  Halloween Flashers |  Saying Pun |  Redneck Blinds |
 Kid Disposal |  Motorvation |  Electric Football |  Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog |  Halloween Lamp |
24-Oct-2020 |