A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued... and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is to be considered as ‘unacceptable fire’, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the ‘fires.’
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This was almost the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest… except that there is no such Contest... Ha, Ha - joe-ks on you!
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden
All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end. - Arthur Baer
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama
My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham
The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them. - Karen M Moning
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan
What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
see also Firemen & Lawyer Sections
An Old Man’s Dying Request
Ancient Greek Law
Atheist Holiday
Attending To Business
Clever Lawyer
Crazy Laws
Difference Between a Convict and a Lawyer
Do Not Read Law
Generous Judge’s Divorce Settlement
Generous Lawyer
Good Lawyer
Honest Lawyer
Is This Legal?
Joyous Lawyers
Justice Is Blind
Laws Of Golf
Lawyer Expands Practice
Lawyer Priorities
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Legal Grounds
Negotiating Lawyers
Negotiations Texas Style
Nepal Lawyer
On The Loose
Polish Divorce
Texas Three-Kick Rule
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15-May-2022 |