Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.
The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.
Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.
Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.
Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure. - Jane Austen
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure. - Jane Austen
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
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29-May-2020 |