Doctor’s Hunting Skills

Sizing up the duck hunting grounds


Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.

The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”


QuotaBills
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Asphyxiation: What a surgeon does about an asphalt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


see also   Doctor  &  Hunting  Sections
Car Surgeon
Doctor Types
Hunters New Year’s Resolution
Mechanical Patient

 

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready

Bread Dress

Bear With Me
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

23-Oct-2021