Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.
The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.
Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.
Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.
Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Asphyxiation: What a surgeon does about an asphalt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Asphyxiation: What a surgeon does about an asphalt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride. - Anthony Bourdain
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
see also Doctor & Hunting Sections
Car Surgeon
Doctor Types
Hunters New Year’s Resolution
Mechanical Patient
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23-Oct-2021 |