Doctor’s Hunting Skills

Sizing up the duck hunting grounds


Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.

The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”


QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham

Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Twists are wonderful for whittling your waist, stretching your back, and detoxifying the body. - Mandy Ingber

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros


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21-Oct-2020