Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.
The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.
Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.
Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.
Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
Ugliness is a point of view; an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist. - Austin O'Malley
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Anatomical: Joe-ks about the body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
Ugliness is a point of view; an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist. - Austin O'Malley
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown
Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
see also Doctor & Hunting Sections
Car Surgeon
Doctor Types
Hunters New Year’s Resolution
Mechanical Patient
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19-May-2022 |