To Catch A Coin Thief

I cried all the way to the bank. - Liberace

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

I sell frosting for money. I'm a frostitute. - Unknown

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Magic: An art of converting superstition into coin - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. - Kathleen Norris

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. - Kin Hubbard

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn't got money. - David Geffen

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D Rockefeller

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that's poverty. - Joe E Lewis

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost. - Kin Hubbard

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. - Steven Wright

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him. - Voltaire

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers