To Catch A Coin Thief

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

One Scent: The cost of a skunk - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Here's the money for our patentcy (patent). - Archie Bunker

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible. - Samuel Goldwyn

I'm worth far too much money. I don't need anybody's money. - Donald Trump

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? - Steven Wright

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

I don't think about financial success as the measurement of my success. - Christie Hefner

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

There is a certain Buddhistic calm that comes from having money in the bank. - Tom Robbins

Don't stand shivering upon the bank; plunge in at once, and have it over. - Sam Slick

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

In our world, more often the truth is 'Money talks and integrity walks.' - Bill Welker

Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

The fact remains that most of us are anesthetized to the true cost and true value of long term care insurance. - Michael Burgess

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. - Satchel Paige

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

Happiness, not money or prestige, should be regarded as the ultimate currency - the currency by which we take measure of our lives. - Tal Ben-Shahar

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump