[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
The ablest lawyers are always associated with the biggest fees. - Clarence Darrow
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster
Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one. - Voltaire
A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon
Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James
Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West
Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda
A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli
Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
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