No Fee Chinese Detective

Looking for the Wong person

[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]

MOST HONOURABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.

NO FEE,
CHEN LEE


QuotaBills
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. - Blaise Pascal

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

The four absolutes we all have in our minds: love, justice, evil, and forgiveness. - Ravi Zacharias

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

Lawyers get you out'n the kind of trouble you'd never get in if there was no lawyers. - Ken Alstad

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman


see also   Detective  Section
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20-Jan-2021