[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
Lawyers are seldom loved but often needed. - Robert B McKay
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound
Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller
You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes
True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang
Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha
The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman
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