No Fee Chinese Detective

Looking for the Wong person

[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]

MOST HONOURABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.

NO FEE,
CHEN LEE


QuotaBills
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown

Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

It is a secret worth knowing, that lawyers rarely go to law. - Moses Crowell

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the mainstream and dam it up. - John Naisbitt

Lawyers are a bad lot... They cheat their living out of honest people. - Albert R Carman

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

Lawyers are operators of toll bridges which anyone in search of justice must pass. - Jane Bryant Quinn

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom. - Antoine De Saint-Exupery


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15-May-2022