Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

Love is metaphysical gravity. - R Buckminster Fuller

Great hate follows great love. - Irish Proverb

Love is the poetry of the senses. - Honore de Balzac

Photography is a love affair with life. - Burk Uzzle

Look your best - who said love is blind? - Mae West

Love is the greatest refreshment in life. - Pablo Picasso

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Life is a flower of which love is the honey. - Victor Hugo

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

The giving of love is an education in itself. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Never say love is like anything - it isn't. - Michael Chabon

Love for me is like a pretzel. Twisted and salty. - Emmy Gay

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

We are too apt to love praise, but not to deserve it. - William Penn

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost

Love: An ocean of emotions surrounded entirely by expenses. - Thomas R Dewar

I love various sports, including basketball, tennis and billiards. - Yani Tseng

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's hard asking someone with a broken heart to fall in love again. - Eric Kripke

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

One is never wounded by the love one gives; only by the love one expects. - Marty Rubin

The human heart is a strange vessel. Love and hatred can exist side by side. - Scott Westerfeld

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being. - Tom Robbins

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

We challenge one another to be funnier and smarter ... It's the way friends make love to one another. - Annie Gottlieb

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open, and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. - Dorothy Parker

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. - Sri Chinmoy

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

The more one forgets himself - by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love - the more human he is. - Viktor Frankl

Love is like a puzzle. First it's confusing and frustrating, but when you figure it out, it's a beautiful thing. - Unknown

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King


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28-Nov-2020