Tonto’s Horse Coolant

The Lone Ranger rides again


The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do - Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do - what’s wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’, but you left your Injun running.”


QuotaBills
Mayor: A he-horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Reindeer: A horse with a hat rack - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Install: Where you keep your horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Absent-Mindedness: Searching for the horse you are riding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps. - Prince Philip

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Country  &  Native Indian  Sections
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28-Jan-2022