Tonto’s Horse Coolant

The Lone Ranger rides again


The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do - Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do - what’s wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’, but you left your Injun running.”


QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Country  &  Native Indian  Sections
A Horse’s Ass IS Important
Ascot Fashion Statement
Double Horse
Frog To Horse Illusion
Head Path
Horse Hair
Horse Hat
Horse Laughter
Horse Mane Macrame
Horse Model
Horsing Around
Neigh Be Barn With It
One Horsepower Car
Quarter Horse or Quarterhorse?
Royal Engagement - Prince Charles & Camilla Exclusive
World’s First Horse Power Vehicle

 

Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape

Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

25-Nov-2020