Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches ass, should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in dog house soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man’s well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Confucius says, “Man who cooks corn and peas in same pot, very unsanitary.”
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman
Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith
I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern
I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown
Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. - Samuel Palmer
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle
One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott
Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley
I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw
The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman
A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch
"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker
Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain
Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman
Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain
No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound
Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe
Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton
The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns
To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass
The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton
When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump
Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong
She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy
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