Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article Page published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins...
Dear Mr. Page:
I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive. Gone. It’s offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers” (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers?)
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name, I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.
How to choose a better name for an NFL football team
There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas
Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth
Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg
Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory
I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood
Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin
It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman
All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin
I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey
Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson
Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck
Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann
So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell
In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow
College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller
You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa
Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal
I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller
As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson
Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox
Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard
Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy
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