![]() Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world. - William Shakespeare I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger see also Christmas Section Christmas Balls Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Forget The Present Gingerbread Star Wars Walker Heathen’s Greetings Merry House Office Party Grinch Redneck Christmas Sleigh Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|