![]() He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman Power tires only those who do not have it. - Giulio Andreotti Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it. - L.J. Peter I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez Angel On Top Of The Christmas Tree Baby Christmas Tree Baby-Proof Christmas Tree Blonde Christmas Tree Canadian Christmas Tree Candle-lit Christmas Tree Christmas Fruit Tree Christmas Tire Tree Christmas Tree Relief Christmas Tree Wheel ChristMoose Tree CPU Tree Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans Griswold Christmas Tree Jewish Christmas Tree Light Christmas Tree Newfie Christmas Tree Recession Christmas Tree Redneck Antler Tree Redneck 101 - How To Speak Redneck Redneck Christmas Lights Redneck Christmas Tree Redneck Dictionary: TAR Redneck Medical Terms Texas Christmas Tree Texas Holiday Lights Y’Allbonics (Southern Slang) Dictionary |
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