Christmas Cat

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Skunk: 1. A streamlined cat with a 2-tone finish and a fluid drive; 2. A community scenter. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen