![]() Soon be discontinued on the Duck Dynasty Christmas Wish List Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon see also Christmas & Redneck Sections Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas Benini Ranch Sculpture BIG Texas Rattlesnake ChristMoose Tree Crash Course in Texas Weather Giant Texas Red Centipede Jim’s Happy Hour Motion Detector Camera Night Activity Moving Day in Texas Only In Texas Redneck Tree Chair Room Service in a Texas Hotel Sports Car Delivery in Texas Survivor - Texas Style (2013) Tactical Texas Texas 4 Months Apart Texas 911 Texas Ambulance Texas Bakery Texas Bank Security Texas Car Wash Texas Chili Taster Texas Christmas Tree Texas Cobra Boots Texas Cow Cleaner Texas Diet Texas Divorce Texas Door Handle Texas Drought Texas Easter Bunny Texas Farmer Texas Flashlight Texas Gun Lover Texas Holiday Lights Texas Hood Ornament Texas Hunting Vehicle Texas Lampshades Texas Limo Texas Motorcycle Seat Texas Office Chair Texas Outhouse Art Texas Rain Gauge Texas Rocking Chair Texas Speed Camera Texas Steak Texas Style Arrest Texas Three-Kick Rule Texas Truck Texas-Europe Size Comparison Texas Valentine Texas Wal-Mart Shopper Texas Wheel Mags Texas Wheelchair Texas Wildcat Dentist Texas Wine Glass Texas Womanhood Texas Zoo Valentines - Texas Style Welcome to Texas, USPS Why We Live in Texas |
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