![]() Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a superb New Year! Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple see also Aging & Christmas Sections Christmas Balls Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Forget The Present Gingerbread Star Wars Walker Heathen’s Greetings Merry House Office Party Grinch Redneck Christmas Sleigh Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock) Animations |
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