The Very First King Size Bed

Dear Jesus, do something. - Vladimir Nabokov

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Jesus was a hiker. The wilderness was His retreat. - Toni Sorenson

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Jesus on Twitter would have been a pretty amazing thing. - Mark Batterson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

There is only one Christ, Jesus, one faith. All else is a dispute over trifles. - Queen Elizabeth I

If Jesus were living in our culture, he would probably hang out in coffeehouses. - Mark Batterson

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you would not take his advice. - C S Lewis

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

When you carry the cross of Jesus, you will find that the cross will wind up carrying you. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

When you come to religion, you come to a place. When you come to Jesus Christ, you come to a person. - Ravi Zacharias

As Man alone, Jesus could not have saved us; As God alone, He would not; Made flesh, He could and did. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

It was inevitable that Jesus Christ should be crucified. It was also inevitable that He should rise again. - H R L Sheppard

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out. - John Fugelsang

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Treat the Lord Jesus Christ as a personal friend. His is not a creed, a mere doctrine, but it is He Himself we have. - Dwight L Moody

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Discipleship does not come from positions of prominence, wealth, or advanced learning. The disciples of Jesus came from all walks of life. - James E Faust

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias