![]() Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon see also Christmas, Elephant & Scenery Sections Bird Stocking Christmas Balls Christmas Budget Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Light Installation Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Forget The Present Gingerbread Star Wars Walker Heathen’s Greetings Jingle Cats’ White Christmas Merry House Office Party Grinch Recession Christmas Tree Redneck Christmas Sleigh Santa For Kids Santa Stop Lights Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland |
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