Santa Elephant

Standing up for Christmas in Africa

Expect slower present delivery in the Serengeti this year





QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon


see also   Christmas,  Elephant  &  Scenery  Sections
Bird Stocking
Christmas Balls
Christmas Budget
Christmas Dinner Made Easy
Christmas Fireplace Tip
Christmas Light Installation
Christmas Pencil Sharpener
Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven
Forget The Present
Gingerbread Star Wars Walker
Heathen’s Greetings
Jingle Cats’ White Christmas
Merry House
Office Party Grinch
Recession Christmas Tree
Redneck Christmas Sleigh
Santa For Kids
Santa Stop Lights
Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food
Saskatchewan Entrepreneur
Save Santa The Trip
Signs of Christmas Everywhere
Texas Hood Ornament
Three Wise Men
Three Wise Women
Walking In A Doggie Wonderland

 

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10-Dec-2019