Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.
As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. (I always call him “honey” in times like these)
“I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
“Are you kidding’ me”, he barked, “I dropped you off!!!”
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”
He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop I didn’t steal your car.”
Yep it’s the Golden Years...
But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
When everything is lost, anything is possible. - Robert Inman
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. - John F Kennedy
If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar
Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. - Yoda
Nothing bad can happen if you haven't hit the Send key. - David Shipley and Will Schwalbe in Send
Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry. - Henry Ward Beecher
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes
Every rupee of profit made by an Englishman is lost for ever to India. - Edmund Burke
Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader. - Obi Wan Kenobi
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
'Tis better to have fought and lost than never to have fought at all. - Arthur Hugh Clough
He who does not remember the past is condemned to forget where he parked. - David Rudnitsky
It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh
People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it. - Howard Newton
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote
What I spent, is gone; what I kept, I lost; but what I gave away will be mine forever. - Ethel Percy Andrus
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright
Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields
I don't know the key to success but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Unknown
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? - T S Eliot
Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life. - Ellen Sue Stern
It is with books as with men: a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude. - Voltaire
I will never forget my actions. They will haunt me for the rest of my life. None of it will happen again. - Garth Drabinsky
Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock
My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key. - Frederick Saunders
They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy
Piano playing is more difficult than statesmanship. It is harder to awake emotions in ivory keys than it is in human beings. - Ignace Jan Paderewski
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau
Doing well with blogging is not about writing one key post, it is about performing day after day and helping a few people at a time. - Aaron Wall
F-E-A-R has two meanings:
'Forget Everything And Run' or
'Face Everything And Rise.'
The choice is yours. - Zig Ziglar
Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see. - Angelina Jolie
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Aging, Marriage, Police & Stress Sections
Ice Cream Thief
Lost and Found
Lost Hyundai of New Brunswick
Lost Unfriendly Cat
USB Lost Memory Stick
Who Lost The Keys?
It's Too Cold To Ride Outside
Ye Olde Simple Simon
High Tensile Snow
Squirrel Feeder Trap
2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)
Florida Sewer Rat
Ready To Leave