Crash Landing Survivors

Surviving against all odds

Procrastination pays off on uncharted islands



Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation
to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Airplane crash landing survivors

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some very bad news...
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be
able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be
rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”


Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our
VISA and MasterCard bills yet?”


“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
“Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.


“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send the estimate check
to the IRS this quarter?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abe,” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”


Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, “What was that for?”


Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”


QuotaBills
Flew: Plane sickness. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Flying Buttress: A charging billy goat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

On wings of wind came flying all abroad. - Alexander Pope

The lure of flying is the lure of beauty. - Amelia Earhart

The press is like the air, a chartered libertine. - William Pitt The Elder

Do what is right, even if you're flying solo. - Unknown

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. - Roy T Bennett

Flying without feathers is not easy; my wings have no feathers. - Plautus

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first. - Unknown

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


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18-Jan-2022