Recession Christmas Tree

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

You cannot spend your way out of recession or borrow your way out of debt. - Daniel Hannan

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. - Harry S Truman

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash