Alcohol Test

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster