Alcohol Test

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor