Redneck Antler Tree

Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Prose is architecture, not interior decoration, and the Baroque is over. - Ernest Hemingway

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein