Canada was stunned Monday when it was announced that The Stanley Cup will be awarded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, possibly as early as December 6th. The cup will be stripped from 2008 playoff champions (Detroit Red Wings) and be awarded to the Leafs, who didn’t even make the playoffs. How is this possible, Canadians ask? Well, the Leafs have formed a coalition with the eastern conference semifinalists (Montreal Canadians), and conference quarter finalists (Ottawa Senators), now outnumbering the Red Wings. According to current Leaf coach Ron Wilson, “the Red Wings have lost the confidence of the league and should hand the cup over immediately to our coalition.” NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is cutting short a European trip to try to resolve the unprecedented hockey crisis that could force a second playoff series, or see an opposing team coalition take the cup. Prorogue, you say? This guy pretends to lead Coalition “A” (as in “eh”, eh!) ![]() Ah, but this Maple Leaf coalition is not led by pro rogues at all - Coalition “B” is led by Big “B” - the only guy who’s a winner in the east & west! ![]() Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros Toronto: A kind of New York operated by the Swiss - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi Conflict Of Interest: A dental school with a hockey team - Daffynitions joe-ks.com All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell Puck: 1. A hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another; 2. Last week's left-over biscuit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman see also Ice Hockey Section Canucks Sign Iraqi Center Canucks Team Photo (2008) eBay Bid Free Beer Hamilton NHL Team Hockey Players Are Mean Leaf Blower for Sale Maple Leafs’ Playoff Plans Toronto Maple Leafs’ New Building Toronto Maple Leafs - No Cup For You! Wife’s Nightie Zamboni Fodder |
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