Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

A diplomat is a man who thinks twice before he says nothing. - Unknown

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

The secret of political bargaining is to look more strong than what you really are. - Subhash Bose

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


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24-Jan-2022