Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - George Stephanopolous

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure. - James K Polk

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

Fence Sitter

New College Game Show

Hands On Tree

Road Shortcut

Running Tears

Swingers

Bird Cam

Parent Signature

Bread Additive

Dates For Everyone

Tree of Dreams

Temporarily Insane Boat Ride

Exit Door

Handicap Motorcyclist

New Canada Bill

Staff Teeth

Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds
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21-Nov-2019