Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Mr. President, I love you, but you're wrong. - Paul Harvey

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

In politics, a lie unanswered becomes truth within 24 hours. - Willie Brown

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race. - Mark Twain

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure. - James K Polk

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

Demagogue: A politician who can rock the boat and persuade everyone else that they're in a terrible storm - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

When the President decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday. - Stephen Colbert

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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06-Dec-2021