Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
We need a great president. - Donald Trump

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

The President is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will happen. - Dan Quayle

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years. - Bill Clinton

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

To be President of the United States, sir, is to act as advocate for a blind, venomous, and ungrateful client. - John Updike

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - Jose Maria de Eca de Queiroz

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
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29-Sep-2020