Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal. - Richard M Nixon

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is. - Edward Kennedy

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

To be President of the United States, sir, is to act as advocate for a blind, venomous, and ungrateful client. - John Updike

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
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03-Jul-2020