Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

I would rather be right than be President. - Henry Clay

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure. - James K Polk

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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Bucket of Hillary
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Donald Trump White House
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20-May-2022