Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

In my country we go to prison first and then become president. - Nelson Mandela

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

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14-Dec-2019