Irish School Demolition

Is this a demolition company or a joe-k factory?

Why teachers shouldn’t give extra homework on Fridays!


[This is a girl in Ireland who’s making prank calls at the age of 8.
She doesn’t like her school and she wants to get it demolished,
so she goes to a demolition expert and tries to convince him...]

Hello, Inter Core.
Hi, is that the demolition place?
It is, yes.
Could you help me to destroy my school please.
Just bare with me a second...
Hello.
Hi.
What school do you go to?
I go to a school in Dublin.
And you want it demolished?
Yeah. Do you use a big wrecking ball, or how do you knock it down?
A big ball.
Right.
Hold on one wee second please...
Hello.
How are you - my name’s Becky.
Yes.
I have a proposal for ya.
Go ahead.
Are you the demolition man?
Yes.
You’re the top boss, yeah?
Go ahead, what’s the tact?
Hello?
I want you to help me destroy my school.
You want it blown up?
Can you blow it up, or knock it down?
Whatever you want done.
I’ll blow it up, that would be better. Can you make sure that all my teachers are in there when you knock it down?
Don’t know if you’ll get away with that now.
Nobody likes them – they give me extra homework on a Friday and everything.
Where are you calling from?
From Dublin.
What school in Dublin?
The one that’s about to fall down.
There’s a lot of schools in Dublin about to fall down.
And how much would it cost to knock it to the ground?
It depends how big it is.
Give me a ballpark figure.
Croke Park is ainm é   [Croke Park is its name (ball park)]
Agus go leor scoile is tigh eile.
[And many other schools and houses]
Is this a demolition company or a joe-k factory?
It’s a joe-k factory at the minute... It’s a joe-k factory.
Listen, are you gonna come and knock my school down or what?
Can you FAX me through a photograph or a site plan, or something.
Right, I’ll FAX you through a plan of the school and my teacher’s names.
Yeah – no problem, yeah.
And you just make sure that they’re all in the building when you knock it down.
You put all their names on it – I’ll give you a page for each individual teacher.
Brilliant.
Yeah.
When the school falls down, will it make a crash or a whallop?
It will make a big bang.
Sounds good. Oh listen, I’ll talk to you later, top man.
Good luck, a Chailín ar buile!   [crazy girl]
Fill your boots man!
Good luck.
See you after.


QuotaBills
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Practical  Section
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Banister Blessing
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Yoga
Irish Weather Forecasting
Leprechaun Treats
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold
Swimming Buddies
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

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14-Jun-2021