Irish School Demolition

Is this a demolition company or a joe-k factory?

Why teachers shouldn’t give extra homework on Fridays!


[This is a girl in Ireland who’s making prank calls at the age of 8.
She doesn’t like her school and she wants to get it demolished,
so she goes to a demolition expert and tries to convince him...]

Hello, Inter Core.
Hi, is that the demolition place?
It is, yes.
Could you help me to destroy my school please.
Just bare with me a second...
Hello.
Hi.
What school do you go to?
I go to a school in Dublin.
And you want it demolished?
Yeah. Do you use a big wrecking ball, or how do you knock it down?
A big ball.
Right.
Hold on one wee second please...
Hello.
How are you - my name’s Becky.
Yes.
I have a proposal for ya.
Go ahead.
Are you the demolition man?
Yes.
You’re the top boss, yeah?
Go ahead, what’s the tact?
Hello?
I want you to help me destroy my school.
You want it blown up?
Can you blow it up, or knock it down?
Whatever you want done.
I’ll blow it up, that would be better. Can you make sure that all my teachers are in there when you knock it down?
Don’t know if you’ll get away with that now.
Nobody likes them – they give me extra homework on a Friday and everything.
Where are you calling from?
From Dublin.
What school in Dublin?
The one that’s about to fall down.
There’s a lot of schools in Dublin about to fall down.
And how much would it cost to knock it to the ground?
It depends how big it is.
Give me a ballpark figure.
Croke Park is ainm é   [Croke Park is its name (ball park)]
Agus go leor scoile is tigh eile.
[And many other schools and houses]
Is this a demolition company or a joe-k factory?
It’s a joe-k factory at the minute... It’s a joe-k factory.
Listen, are you gonna come and knock my school down or what?
Can you FAX me through a photograph or a site plan, or something.
Right, I’ll FAX you through a plan of the school and my teacher’s names.
Yeah – no problem, yeah.
And you just make sure that they’re all in the building when you knock it down.
You put all their names on it – I’ll give you a page for each individual teacher.
Brilliant.
Yeah.
When the school falls down, will it make a crash or a whallop?
It will make a big bang.
Sounds good. Oh listen, I’ll talk to you later, top man.
Good luck, a Chailín ar buile!   [crazy girl]
Fill your boots man!
Good luck.
See you after.


QuotaBills
My soul is still Irish. - Ciaran Hinds

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. - George Santayana

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius. - Edward Gibbon

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz


see also   Practical  Section
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Banister Blessing
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Yoga
Irish Weather Forecasting
Leprechaun Treats
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold
Swimming Buddies
The Fert
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16-May-2022