‘Twas the Day After Christmas

Where even the mouse was hurting

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting - even the mouse;
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore;
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter...
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror -
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said, “U.S. POSTMAN.”

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox;
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came,
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s and Sears,
Here’s Levitz’s and Target’s and Mervyn’s - all here!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!”

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work,
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk;
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“Enjoy what you got... you’ll be paying all year!”



QuotaBills
It's only a toy. - Gardiner Greene Hubbard

I get mail; therefore I am. - Scott Adams

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

A mouse never entrusts his life to only one hole. - Plautus

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Some people use their own hurt as an excuse for hurting others. - Roland Merullo

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill. - Christopher Parker

A check or credit card, a Gucci bag strap, anything of value will do. Give as you live. - Jesse Jackson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

We can smile even though we are hurting and we can feel happy even though we are unhappy. It's called strength. - Thea Destiny

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

Unbreakable Toy: 1. An object that is indestructible - until a child plays with it; 2. Useful for breaking other toys. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mouse trap you set the night before. - Kin Hubbard


see also   Christmas  &  Stress  Sections
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Christmas Bro-quet
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Christmas Dinner Made Easy
Christmas Fireplace Tip
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Firefighter Decorations
Forget The Present
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Jingle Cats’ White Christmas
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Reindeer Strike
Santa Claus as a Farmer
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Signs of Christmas Everywhere
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14-Aug-2022