Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Architecture begins where engineering ends. - Walter Gropius

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

Never tell anyone your plans, show them your results instead. - Leonardo DiCaprio

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Plane Restaurant

Holiday Fun

Sandwich Shoes

Fearless

Finally Got A Haircut

Fedorable Platypuses

Lego Sushi

Hedge Face

Computer Bread

Robbers Lives Matter

UnBralievable

Rubble Trouble

Pool Side

Hair Moan Therapy

Beachport

Warm Nap

Wall Parkade

Flood Games

Lean Two Friends

Bale Face
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05-Jul-2020