Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past. - Charles J Givens

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. - Peter F Drucker

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The key to making things affordable is design and technology improvements, as well as scale. - Elon Musk

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing
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26-May-2022