Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past. - Charles J Givens

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. - Peter F Drucker

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The key to making things affordable is design and technology improvements, as well as scale. - Elon Musk

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

Don't lie. Life is a puzzle and we are all unique pieces. When you lie, you make it impossible to find your true place in the grand design. - Steve Maraboli


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Cyclist Roast

Bike Vaulting

Balanced Food Delivery

Gone To Market

iPhone Evolution

New Air Canada Seats

Texas Wal-Mart Shopper

Walk Sign Ending

Kid Straps

Redneck Water Heater

Bike Comb

Programmer Logic

Team Foosball

Slow Down Sign

Bike Chaser

NFL Referees

No Go Intersection

Staple Diet

Darth Vader Dog

PacMan Lights
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29-Sep-2020