Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

Architecture begins where engineering ends. - Walter Gropius

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans. - Allen Saunders

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Never tell anyone your plans, show them your results instead. - Leonardo DiCaprio

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The key to making things affordable is design and technology improvements, as well as scale. - Elon Musk

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

The Swedish engineer who invented the zip fastener made a greater intellectual leap than many scientists do in a lifetime. - Martin Rees

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Great Quotes (B)

Wayne's Fish

If You're Happy And You Know It

Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer
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25-Jul-2021