Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir

Plans make dreams reality. - Susan Pace-Koch

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Never tell anyone your plans, show them your results instead. - Leonardo DiCaprio

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past. - Charles J Givens

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The key to making things affordable is design and technology improvements, as well as scale. - Elon Musk

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail. - Napoleon Hill

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins
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26-Jan-2021